Sunday, April 26, 2009

Unexpressed expressions.....

As she embraced her mother in a tight hug,my own mother's eyes flickered back and forth from them to me,eyes filled with half accusation,and half of hope.As we watched them as mere audeiences,i started toying the pebbles on the ground with my feet half hoping for the
ground to crack open and swollow me in...*slurp*.On the way home,she said,"wel....wish things could be like that with you too!'.Anger flushed through me at that instant.Exactly how many times do i have to defend myself?having this dialogoue over the tip of my toungue considering
the amount of practised ihave had with it..i went all like,"oh plzz mom....we have been through this talk with a minimum range of thousand time.why dont u just get over with.I will continue to remain how i am,you just totally cannot expect me to be all moppy!".she sighed!that was all.
well this is the one and only complain my mom has against me.she feels that i am the coldest living daughter on planet earth.*sigh*if only she knew half of it!i am the kind of person who isnt well quite exrpressive with her feelings specilay with those related to lover,,compassion..
I must have never huged them tight or said'i love u mom-dad' ..never.Just because i prefer being non-expressive that doesnt mean that the ocean of love flowing within me is shallow.Ihave always remained like that, and i intend to remain non chalant.
i have never at all felt the need to be flambyount about expresing myself to others cuz that goes agiant my nature and even if i gave ait a try,it would look soo abnormamly fake.On several occasions..for example gettin decent marks in 10 th or gettin into a really good colege,or maybe even my own
birthday,my mom always goes like,'arent u happy at all?'.i just nod with a faint smile.Mentally am like,does she actaully expect me to hop-skip and jump like a maniac.that would just totally fall right against my own sanityl.
even when it came to my friendship with neha..probably the closest living soul to me next to my parents.We have never ever being too flamboyant about it,though i can give about a 104% gurantee that out bond is much stronger than most of those freindships which people tend to be all showy about.we must never used
adjectives like 'best friend' to our friendship.Because as long as we know whats there,we dont need to prove anything to anybody!
So finally my parents have accepted that I might not change and the love hidden deep within me will remain cacooned in forever,
All in all i can sum things up as....

Expressive expressions remain unexpressed by a totally unexpressive me,living in this overtly expressive world!


NEHA said...

m so happy that u put up our common thots so wel in words!! m al touchy touchy at the moment...

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